Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i just dunno why..
why i can become a optimistic when im go out play
and..
pessimistic when im alone..
my mum also like that..
its like..no matter how happy i look my heart always bleeds..
its not like i have mental illness or what..
its just people around me[except my mum and sis]..
doesnt give me that sense of security..
and its is a fact that im the one thats always [nearly]get lefted out..
and of course no human is selfless..so,
im envious of some people..
but im not out to break things up..
anyway..i think its kinda hard to stay at hm too u know..
its like having a piece of beef in a chicken burger..
no..the beef isnt me..
its that male chauvinist pig..
im always the one that gets step on in order for him to boast his ego..
he's such bitch mouth..
he says everything..
frm rubbish..
to things that smth i dont want others know..
and instead spending time to mend this hole which has already became a gap..
he always commit himself to that particular grp..
its like having an affair outside..but that 3rd party isnt a human..
but its still gd anyway..at least i dont get to see him every weekend..
its so irrating living with him..
he always shout at people..including his own mother..
its not like grandma has offend him or smth u know..
look,imagine ur old and u have little knowledge on ...lets say...savings account..
and u ask ur son smth abt whats the letter says..
then his very first ans he kinda shouted and give that cb look..
how will u felt?
even as a bystander..i also felt like back hand him u know..
and guess what..when i heard ppl like..envious abt me..
i will go like..'please...u haven seen the insides of him only'
its true..each time he goes to school,he's friendly,well mannered..
at hm..its like an 180 degrees change..
he like living as tho he's a king..
i think im gonna shout at him one day..
and i have a feeling its not gg to be long..
and im not gg to hold myself back..
i will give it all i have in order to wake him up..
sometimes im like so amazed of how people can lived till like 60 yrs of age..
its so hard being a human u see..
we all think we are learn to live..actually we're just..learning to die..
haiz..
im out-[Synonymous.With.Wicked].
ps:i hate being pm-ed when somebody need smth.but hack care u when they dont need u..
how cool is human heh..
I need inspiration.Not just another negotiation
[12:11 am]
